Raising Mi Bebe in My Heritage Language: Part 1 of Many
Disclaimer: I am the first to say that I am immensely privileged to have grown up speaking Spanish, my heritage language, even if it wasn’t “perfect” or school polished. My circumstances are the reason I am considered a maternal language speaker. In this short piece, I can hopefully share my experience to share with others in similar circumstances as they guide their young ones in this judgment filled world: Because we’re not American enough for the Americans and not Latin@ enough for the Latin@s.
Dear Latino/a/é & other Heritage Language Grownups,
This journey that I am sharing with you will hopefully make you laugh, relate, and think. Receive this multilingual, multicultural parental hug from me, because yes…speaking your heritage language when you’ve grown up outside your family countr(ies) is harrrrrd.
Omg…I’m TIRED. Why am I tired?
I did NOT expect to feel tired of speaking Spanish with my little Audra. Not like I’m sick of this…no..but like I’m speaking a language that isn’t mine tired. Anyone who’s learned another language knows what I mean. I’ve experienced this in my 3rd language (learned in adulthood), Catalan. Now, again, Spanish is one of my maternal languages. I grew up speaking this every second of every day at home, arguing in it, watching Telenovelas, having dreams in it. I have never been exhausted speaking to my family or friends all day. Why now?
While I don’t have an official answer, I can consider this idea: Audra’s learning of this language is currently hanging on…ME. AHHHH!! That’s pressure. I’m constantly considering accuracy, clarity, variety in vocabulary…all in my maternal language, yes, but also a language that I know I can have shortcomings in. This is exhausting.
Bilingual Myths Coming to Life in Me??
She doesn’t know what milk is but she knows what che che (leche) is…am I messing up her opportunity to learn English?
Short section because I KNOW THIS IS NOT TRUE. But it crossed my mind! Even as a bilingual educator! Wow heritage language anxiety is real…
::Pan Latin Spanish loading::
Growing up stateside surrounded by old timey Cubans, but surrounded by more PR language in the states over all, then I lived in Barcelona, Spain for 8 years…there’s a lot flying out of my mouth when it comes to my Spanish. The languages you speak are your communication tools…why not take what you like from any dialects, regional tidbits you encounter? Each of those places I listed above had a tremendous impact on my Spanish AND, believe it or not, my English. And let’s face it..at the end of the day I’m a United States born Latina. I am multi-hyphenated and so my languages will be as well.
I’m not AS funny in Spanish…
Literally. I am not. My little kid jokes are SO HILARIOUS in English and in my career have made me a favorite grownup/teacher. It makes me feel silly to even put this as a section BUT I definitely don’t have the narrative storytelling skills in Spanish as I do in English which makes my little dork-isms in English null in Spanish. I want her to see my sense of humor, but I’m struggling here. My suggestion to myself is to practice, read more and write more in Spanish. I have a voice, I just need to harness it more comfortably.
That’s it. Short and sweet for a part 1. Baby girl just turned 9 months last week and despite the above, I’m so proud of how far our family has come with our bilingual journey.
So dear amig@s, What next?
What I don’t want: Suggestions. I know I know…what?? But oftentimes these invalidate what is said and is disguised as advice. I know people say they mean well, but right now, this is just a sharing moment.
What I want: Heritage language speakers, especially Latinés: Tell me your similar experiences, tell me your different ones, and just generally…share your bilingual child journey with me and us all. And yes, heritage language speakers only please. Our experience is unique.
